Off The Wagon

There are many reasons why I should not skip yoga class. One is that my boyfriend has night school this semester. Two is that my friends are boring and don’t like to hang out. Three is that I’m boring and don’t like to hang out. Four is that bikini season is around the corner. Five is… let me tell me about what I do when I skip yoga (it aint pretty).

I got home from work a little too late tonight to make the 7:15 yoga class, and a little too early for the 8:30 one. I needed to return something at the mall, so I thought I’d have a quick walk over, run my errand, then go to yoga. Within 30 minutes, I was done with my errand, but then I was hungry. I had a coupon for a free Mexican appetizer, so I thought heck yeah, free dinner. I knew it was a risk, a big risk, since I usually try not to eat within two hours of yoga because I will throw up in my mouth if I do. But the allure of a free Mexican appetizer was strong. (And in my defense, I had soup for lunch, which is practically water.)

So I went to the Farmer’s Market to the Mexican food stall to redeem my appetizer. There were only a few options to choose from, none of which fully appealed to me, but I figured I should aim high, so I asked if I could get the most expensive app – the $12 plate of nachos. The guys deliberated about it for a while, then regrettably informed me that I could get any appetizer but had to spend a minimum of $20. (There’s always a catch.)

So I passed on that, but standing in the middle of food stall heaven made me extra hungry so had to find something else to eat. I should’ve had the wisdom and willpower to go home, have a light snack, and go to yoga where in the 100 degree room, I would quickly forget any thoughts of food. But did I do that? Of course not. I decided to try out the Brazilian BBQ stall, a mini churrascaria where heaps of salads, rices, beans, fried plantains, and sizzly rotisseried meats awaited my plate. At first, I picked up a reasonably sized to-go container, but opted instead for dinnerware (I was feeling fancy). They’re really clever with the plates – they make them super oversized so no matter how much food you pile on, it never seems enough. I thought I was being somewhat conservative, but the scale don’t lie. My dinner cost a whopping $17. For comparison’s sake, the lady behind me’s cost less than $6 (her plate was sad and empty).

It was a chilly night, so not too many people were eating out in the open air of the Farmer’s Market. I found myself a quiet corner table and with traces of guilt,  proceeded to dig into my dinner. As per usual, I got my clean plate club gold star and offended no starving children in Africa. Afterwards, as I waddled out of my seat, I contemplated having a cup of coffee, but stopped myself as I was already too full. How’s that for self-control?

A few days ago, I had an inexplicable hankering for sour patch kids. I never usually eat candy (outside of movie theaters) and on a moralistic health level I’m offended by the ingredients that comprise candy. So naturally, with a bellyful of rice, beans, plantains, collard greens, and three cuts of meat, I popped into Dylan’s Candy Bar.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Dylan’s, it’s a candy emporium owned by Ralph Lauren’s daughter (if you’ve ever seen a photo of her, you know she does not eat any of that candy). A veritable Willy Wonka’s where you can scoop into your baggie mix-and-match chocolates, gummy anything and everything, gumballs, caramels, you name it. I spent $9 on $2 worth of candy, and ate enough to cause horrible regret.

Like I said, I should not skip yoga class. When I do, bad things happen. I’ll be back on the wagon tomorrow.

One thought on “Off The Wagon

  1. Very interesting likeusual. I feel the same way when I skip my gym classes.


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