America’s Next Top Confused Immigrant

I think I’ve done myself a disservice by not watching shows like America’s Next Top Model. From my understanding, Tyra has some good tips for how to maximize photo potential, which I realize from looking at recent photographs of myself, that I haven’t a clue about. I tend to appear neckless and chubby-armed in photos. I do strange things with my hands. And I don’t know at what angle I’m supposed to stand to look svelte, or how I’m supposed to position my legs. I feel like if I close my eyes, I can exactly envision the standard one or two poses every Hollywood starlet does, and you’d think that I’d at least be able to emulate what they do, but something seems to take over me in the presence of a flash bulb.

My friend used to describe my photo look as “Confused Immigrant.” It’s not that off the mark, sad to say. Sometimes, just as the shutter snaps, my eyes take on an other worldliness that is indescribably and (I hope) not accurate to what I usually look like as an animated human being. My boyfriend has on more than one occasion asked if I have a lazy eye. It’s that bad.

I had to renew my driver’s license the other day and they took a new photo of me for it. Before that, my license photo was ten years old. I very definitely looked like a confused immigrant in that one. When the DMV lady snapped my photo this time, she said “This one is much better,” so that gave me some hope. My new license is supposed to arrive in the mail in a couple of weeks. Fingers crossed!

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