I’m not a consensus-oriented person. If anything, it disorients me.
I used to work at this place that insisted on consensus to the nth degree for everything. Every damn thing. Every email I sent out, about even the most minor of topics, had to include a long list of constituents who had no business being involved in my business. And then the reply-to-all’s started, and it took up my whole day reading email threads that should never have existed in the first place. And besides that, there were endless in-person meetings to boot. I basically lost respect for non-profits after that, and left there feeling like I’d wasted my time, and they were wasting the public’s money.
In my personal life, I’m even less patient about it. In fact, the rare arguments my boyfriend and I have had have largely been over what I call “dorm-room bullshit,” which basically means that I want two people (us) to be in charge of figuring out what we’re going to eat for dinner or what movie we’re going to watch. Because 45-60 minutes later, we end up going our own route anyway. Call me picky, but unless I’m going out with people, or something where the point is to be doing things as a group, then I’d really like to make my own decisions. By the way, I realized the extent of this nuance about myself when I was whisked away on a well-meaning but ill-fated birthday trip to Mexico that involved group mentality to the extent that I spent 8 days vacationing by myself, and not once doing anything I wanted to do. Happy Birthday to me!
Now, one might read this and think I’m getting old and crotchety, and I’m a likely candidate to end up with 40 cats or dancing in the middle of a drum circle. But if that’s the case, then I must have been born old and crotchety because I’ve always been intolerant of unnecessary and unfun time suckage. On the other hand, I am totally ok with fun time suckage. Like the afternoon I spent documenting my boyfriend and his friend’s ludicrously hilarious conversation. That, in my opinion, was time well spent. I guess I also tend not to see eye to eye with people who are indecisive, and I have a hard time hiding my annoyance. And I just dislike eating crap I don’t like, or watching movies that are lame. Call me crazy, but life’s just too short. And I’m not getting any younger. And I have been considering getting a cat.