There’s no such thing as a free lunch (or snack).

I have been getting bombarded with people pushing their agendas on me this week. What’s up with that?!

First, I was harassed by the charity clipboard pod people swarming in the front of my subway stop, and today, I was flat out tricked into accepting a Jesus postcard. I’ll start with yesterday…

There are usually a few different clipboard types out near my subway stop, so I’m pretty used to the daily dodging around the Aveda hair people and the Save The Children’ers. But yesterday was just crazy. There were so many of them out there, and literally blocking the entrance to the subway so no one could get past them. And they were so aggressive! This one husky guy even put both his hands on my shoulder as I was trying to give him the cold shoulder. And while his sausage fingers did make my shoulder hot, they did not warm my temperament towards him. I was three seconds away from punching him in his man boobs if he did not unhand me. I was so aggravated! And the worst part is, whatever charity he and his cohorts were pushing is likely something I care about and would support, but the tactics they employed completely overshadowed the cause. That’s the real tragedy in the whole thing.

And today, I was given a free granola bar in Union Square. These little things make my day – I love free stuff. And free food is my favorite of all free stuffs. So I happily munched on my chocolatey chippy freebee, and then looked at the postcard I was handed with it. Naturally, I assumed it was a coupon for my next purchase of said granola bars. But to my surprise, my unsuspecting coupon was telling me I was going to hell! I looked around and thought, “Me?” And then I also thought that maybe time had stopped and someone replaced my granola bar coupon with this Jesus Freak calling card because  I surely would not have knowingly accepted such a thing (nor do I feel deserved of eternal inferno). You can best believe that the next time I take one of Jesus’ granola bars, I am going to say “no, thanks” to the “coupon.”

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One thought on “There’s no such thing as a free lunch (or snack).

  1. Never, ever take freebee food from the street girly! As easy as the put the “your going to hell” card with it, they could poisoned that mess. And for old sausage finger, we need to let you borrow Darla’s personal tazer. He’d think twice before manhandling petite chicks on near the sub.

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