Shoo Fly

Did I ever tell you that I have pets? They are named I Hate You #1 and I Hate You #2. I did not adopt them, but apparently, they have adopted me.

I don’t know if I left the window open or if they came in through the door or what, but for the past couple of weeks, these two flies have decided to call my home their home. And while they seem pleased as punch about the arrangement (they buzz around with glee – I swear I saw #2 grinning the other day), I am not so thrilled. I have left the door open numerous times now, and even had a neighbor point out that my door is open (a cause for alarm in New York City), but they just don’t want to go.

I have also tried swatting the buggers with mail envelopes, magazines, a book, and towels (both hand and bath), to no avail. I went to two stores looking for fly strips, and found none. I have broken a sweat attempting to chase them out, and I have been nearly brought to tears when #1 (I can tell them apart, that’s how intimate we are) decides to wake me up by buzzing in my ear in the mornings (“It’s breakfast time, ma!”). I am out of options, and they don’t seem to be losing steam. They may have won the fight, but the battle remains… I got Vietnamese take-out for lunch and am now armed with two sets of chopsticks. Did you ever watch ‘The Karate Kid’?


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